See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.
~Song of Solomon 2:11-13
Spring is here. And while it may not look it outside, with the coming of spring comes the reality of renewal and a long, brighter day. Spring gives us a chance to look back at the coldness of winter and forward to the warmth of an inviting summer. The season of singing has come. And with it the opportunity for replenishment and a new beginning.
This spring also marks a new beginning and adventure for one of the men who has been staying here at the New Life Center (for anonymity’s sake, we’ll call him “Tom”). On April 1st, Tom will be moving in to his first apartment. A momentous occasion for your “average” eighteen year-old, Tom will be experiencing the thrill of his own place for the first time at the age of 47. This past week, I had the privilege to meet and talk with Tom about his journey and his new home.
“April Fool’s day,” is the answer I got from a laughing Tom when asked about when he would be moving into his new place. He is clearly excited about the move, but has mentioned more than once the anxiety that comes with it. As well as the responsibility.
In through the doors of the New Life Center come people of all backgrounds. There are men who have recently been evicted due to the loss of a job, some come directly from jail or a psychiatric unit, and many have stayed due to their chronic homelessness. Just the other night we had a trucker who was traveling across the country stay the night.
Out through the doors go many stories, as well. Some stay only the night and leave the next morning, on the road like the trucker previously mentioned. Others stay while completing a recovery program or until they have found a job. In extreme cases, some will spend decades, unable to care for themselves or deal with the hostility of the world, eventually dying while in our care. But, for the most part, the stories of many who have stayed here do not get told to anyone and their reasons for leaving are as mysterious as to why they landed at the shelter in the first place. And it’s that reason that getting to know Tom and his story is a blessing and something we at the New Life Center would like to share with you.
“I’m looking forward to coming back here about once a month or so to give back.” Tom has been staying at the New Life Center on and off for over a year, but has experienced homelessness for much longer. “I got married in a drunken stupor…we were together for five years, living in a place owned by her father, so I’ve never had to deal with credit checks or a lease.” After Tom and his wife split, he began moving around the country, homeless and pushed from town to town. “From 1982 to now, I’ve either been locked up or homeless.” After spending many years down south, he returned to Grand Forks to take care of some legal problems. For years, a warrant, an unsuccessful marriage and a debilitating addiction to alcohol had kept him away from his family. “I hadn’t seen my oldest sister in 17 years.” But after a conversation with a female friend from a recovery group who had solved an outstanding legal issue with little problem, Tom decided to return to North Dakota and give himself up. Due to his earlier attempts to put the charges behind him and mix-ups by two different state departments, Tom was free to go.
After solving the issues with the court, Tom’s sister decided to move him down to Fargo. “Getting back with the old friends (in Grand Forks) wasn’t a good idea.” Once in Fargo and away from unwanted influences, Tom got sober and began a road toward recovery. Yet, putting alcohol behind him wasn’t the total answer he was looking for. “After I cleaned up, I got depressed. Even suicidal.”
Thankfully, rather than seeking the answers to his depression in a bottle, Tom reached out to the opportunities available to him in this community. “They got me into Prairie (
Prairie St. Johns, a local facility that deals with mental illness and chemical dependence),” where he stayed for two weeks, diagnosed with manic depression and mild schizophrenia. He is now on a mix of prescription medications that he says have helped immensely, as well as a part of a stabilization treatment group that meets daily. While Tom admits that he has used alcohol since getting help, he also understands that with his treatment and medication, abusing alcohol as he once did is no longer an option.
In addition to the help Tom received at Prairie,
Southeast Human Service Center has been imperative in his advancement; helping get him into Prairie, setting up his group meetings and beginning a financial program that will allow Tom to have all of his bills paid on time, while setting aside money for savings. Not to mention arranging for Tom to be moving into his new place. It is organizations like these, and others that help transform lives each and every day. While the New Life Center prides itself on being able to put a roof over a head and food in a stomach, we could not imagine reaching our ultimate goal of serving the individual without the help of the many community organizations in Fargo and Moorhead.
“If I hadn’t found you all, I’d probably be dead.” Tom did find us and Tom’s excited. He has already moved some furniture and household items into his new place and has already been offered help by employees and clients of the New Life Center in his big move. He plans on continuing his group treatment and has put checks in place to resist unwanted influences and temptation. We’re all looking forward to Tom returning to give a hand with his friends in the kitchen or just stopping by to give an update. “See! The Winter is past.”
Peace.
